


Flight: Coda 11x7

by Speary



Series: Season 11 Coda Fics [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Coda 11x7, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 11:44:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5247080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Speary/pseuds/Speary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is leaving for Gaza. Dean struggles to let him go. Cas struggles to understand why.<br/>---<br/>Leaving was complicated. Apparently one cannot just leave. “I miss my wings,” he muttered as he rifled through some papers on the table.</p>
<p>Dean stood off to the side, doing nothing, just watching him. Cas looked up and realized the impact of his words. Of course Dean would blame himself for even that. It never seemed to matter how many times he stressed to him that not everything was his responsibility. Some things can’t be fixed with mere words.<br/>---<br/>Coda for 11x7, "Plush"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flight: Coda 11x7

Leaving was complicated. Apparently one cannot just leave. “I miss my wings,” he muttered as he rifled through some papers on the table.

Dean stood off to the side, doing nothing, just watching him. Cas looked up and realized the impact of his words. Of course Dean would blame himself for even that. It never seemed to matter how many times he stressed to him that not everything was his responsibility. Some things can’t be fixed with mere words.

The last of the papers were gathered into a folder and slid into the medium sized canvas bag. He would be able to carry it onto the plane and not worry about the baggage business that Dean had talked about. He had a small laptop as well. Sam had set it up for his journey. 

The bag also contained clothes. Dean had suggested it. “You have to have clothes. People will think that it is strange if you go halfway around the world with just the clothes on your back, some papers, and a laptop.”

“I only have these.” Cas had thrown out his arms as if putting himself on display was necessary to make the point. It wasn’t. Everyone knew what he owned. Dean had laughed, a short rumble of acknowledgement and pulled him off to his room. He took Cas’ bag and set it on the edge of the bed. He didn’t comment much; he just opened a drawer and pulled out some clothes.

Cas saw a shirt, plaid with light sunset colors paired with blue. He wanted Dean to pick that one for his bag. He didn’t. He pulled out a grey t-shirt which Cas thought was rather dull. Dean’s lip curled up into a little half smile as he pulled out another t-shirt that had the words, ‘Highway to Hell’ blazoned across it. He turned to Cas then and noted the furrowed brow. “Just kidding,” Dean had said as he put it back. 

Cas stepped closer and rested his hand on the sunset of plaid. It had pinks and a little white. He had liked the way that it had looked on Dean. It made him seem softer. While Sam and Dean had been on one of their hunts, he had worn it. He had been careful though and was sure that no one, Dean in particular, had guessed at the intrusion. Cas started to pull it from the drawer. “This one.”

“You know you don’t have to wear them, right? It’s just for show.” Dean let him pull it out of the drawer though.

“Yes, but I might wear this one.” Dean had watched him with that look that he sometimes got, half amusement, half wonder.

They finished packing in relative silence. It was that kind of silence that runs though a person, making them want to say anything at all just to drive it away. The packing ended soon enough, and now they stood at the table. Cas was taking his time with the last of the papers as if this would prolong his departure. Planes seemed unpleasant. Dean did not seem to like them.

Sam came over and gave him a hug. Cas waited a fraction of a second and then fully hugged him back. He knew the hug was over when Sam gave him the we’re done pat. It had felt good though, being hugged. He wondered when he had grown so accustomed to physical contact.  _When had that started to matter? Why does it matter?_  He stepped back and waited for Dean to take his turn.

“Be careful out there, okay.” Dean pulled him into a hug. It was more gentle than Sam’s hug and perhaps a little reserved at first. Cas concentrated on all of it, the way Dean’s fingers seemed to dig in a little, like he could hold onto him just a little more. The hug ended too quickly. Dean seemed to be trying to give the send-off a business like air. Only Cas would notice the thing with his fingers. It was likely that even Dean hadn’t noticed. It was also likely that Dean hadn’t noticed the shift in his own breathing or heartbeat, but Cas had. Dean released Cas. Cas moved off to the door, off to what would inevitably be Gaza and later maybe Rome.

“I will call you, keep you up to date on what I find.” Dean was now a few feet away and Cas felt the negative space between them like oceans and miles of land. He turned and headed for the door, holding the bag loose at his side. There would be a taxi waiting for him to take him to the airport. They had decided that it would be easier since Dean and Sam would be leaving for another hunt and borrowing one of the cars from the bunker’s garage would just incur a rather large bill at the airport’s long-term parking lot.

He was halfway up the stairs when he heard Dean say, “Wait up. I’ll walk you out.” He turned and saw Dean striding toward him. His face had become serious in a way that spoke to some hidden worry that he was feeling. The way that his eyes seemed to pinch a little and the thin line of his lips told Cas more than words where Dean was concerned.

“See ya when you get back, Cas.” Sam threw a little wave his way and then turned to the hall leading back to his room.

They made it to the top of the landing and Dean opened the door and held it for him to pass. Cas thought that this would be the big send off. The taxi was idling away at the edge of the graveled roadway. The driver was sitting ramrod straight reading from a cell phone. Cas and Dean stepped out into the blindingly bright sunlight. Cas turned to Dean then and said, “Well, I guess I’ll see you in a few weeks.” He added a little nod of sorts to his statement and turned to go. Dean was staring off at the taxi driver. Cas got two steps in before Dean caught his arm high up on his bicep. 

“Wait.” Dean was still staring off at the taxi with a great deal of concern blanketing his features. He let Cas go to stride up to the vehicle. He knocked on the window and the driver rolled it down. 

“Hey there, I was just about to leave. Thought this was maybe a prank.” The driver looked past Dean to Cas. “I can take your bag for you.”

Dean cleared his throat and said, “That won’t be necessary.” He pulled out his wallet and passed a twenty to the driver. “Sorry we made you wait.” The driver just stared at the money for a moment then up at Dean.

“You sure man?” The driver looked over at Cas as he asked it.

“Yep. I didn’t think that I would be available to drive him to the airport, but I am. Thanks for waiting.” Dean gave him a curt nod and with a hand to Cas’ elbow, steered him back to the bunker. They made their way in and Dean called out into the bunker, “Hey Sammy, change of plans. I’m driving Cas to the airport. I’ll be back in a few.”

Sam’s voice called out, “Figured. See ya when you get back.”

Dean’s head dipped a little with Sam’s pronouncement. He looked like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. Cas took in the posture and the way that Dean stalked off to the garage. He followed him too close. He was practically being pulled along in Dean’s wake, toes touching down with each step in the space that was a few moments before just Dean’s.

“Why the change of plans?” Cas finally asked as they moved into the garage, the Impala gleaming away in its stall.

Dean rounded to the driver’s side before he spoke. “It just occurred to me that we can’t really trust people. I mean, he coulda been an angel or a demon. Either way, I should take you to the airport myself, see you off.”

They got in the car and the doors closing dashed off Cas’ immediate response. They drove out, and Cas was struck again by the way that the world glowed golden off of everything around them. The trees, with their fall foliage, highlighted the world in hues that were almost magical. The car tore down the road on a growl. Cas watched Dean drive and wondered why he had really changed plans.

“He was not an angel nor was he a demon. He was just a man, a weak one too. I was in no jeopardy.” 

Dean stared straight ahead. “You can never be too safe.”

Cas hummed out an acknowledgement. The world flew by in a blur of oranges and browns, the pavement a little wet from the rains that had fallen the night before. “He was 22 and a vegan. He was feeling the effects of his lunch in the form of heartburn. I would have healed him had he driven me to the airport.”

“Guess he’ll just have to live with the heartburn,” Dean grumbled out. “You saying that I should have let you go in the cab?”

“No.” Cas said as he continued to watch Dean drive. “I am pleased with the change of plans.” 

Dean’s demeanor changed by fractions. Cas noted them though. His muscles were less tense. His lip curled up just a little. His eyes blinked away the glare. “Shouldn’t have planned the cab anyway. It was dumb.”

“It’s out of your way. You said that the next hunt is the exact opposite direction of the airport and that you would be leaving right after I left. This is going to set you back a few hours.” Cas watched Dean’s fingers drumming away on the steering wheel to a tune that only he could hear. Cas imagined the accompaniment that might make the drumming a song.

“It’s only a little out of the way. We’ll deal. It was dumb to send you off for your first flight via cab.”

“Hardly my first flight.” Dean looked at him now and Cas smiled at the little joke. Dean smiled in response.

“T.S.A. is complicated too.” Dean let one hand fall from the steering wheel to rest on the seat between them. The displacement of air there felt important somehow, like his hand was a lone island in a vast sea. 

“You and Sam both practiced with me. I am capable of handling the paperwork and the people tasked with reading it all.” Cas let his hand slip to the seat beside Dean’s. Warmth radiated from the closeness. “The passport turned out nice. Sam is highly skilled.”

“Yeah, he picked up some things from Bobby. Now, Bobby was something. He was a master of his craft.” Dean began drumming away at the seat between them. Cas focused on the little rivulets of air that passed to him with each tap of Dean’s fingers. 

“I appreciated the name too.” Dean turned to him then with a grin. Cas said the name with reverence, “Castiel Singer Winchester.”

“Yeah, you needed a middle name, and Bobby wouldn’t likely mind sharing his with you. He liked you.” Dean’s eyes crinkled up with the smiling he was doing, and Cas felt some of the moment transfer over to him. 

“I appreciated the last name too. It is an honor to be counted among the Winchesters even if it is just on a piece of fraudulent paperwork.” 

Dean tipped his head a little and seemed to consider the words before he spoke. “You know, you’re a Winchester in other ways too. You’re one of us. You’re family, Cas.” Dean reached over then and gave his shoulder a little squeeze before he settled his hand back onto the seat between them again.

“Thank you, Dean,” he whispered. Names were important. Much could be done with a name, and now Dean had given him a name to add to his own. More than that, he had given him something that felt like home. He had needed that in these last few weeks. And though he was about to soar off to distant lands, he felt as though there would be something here in Kansas pulling him back.

Cas rolled down the window to breathe in the air of home. The cool blast of it buffeted the space around him. His hair pressed back from his face a bit more. He took in a needless bit of air and held it, closing his eyes on the inhale. It smelled of wet asphalt and dirt. It smelled of tree bark and bright green grass. 

“A little chilly, Cas.” He turned to Dean and noticed that he was shivering.

“Oh, sorry. I wanted to smell Kansas before I left it.” 

Dean chuckled and said, “That isn’t a bit weird.” He laughed again. 

“Sensory memories are important. I wanted to smell home.” Maybe it was weird, but he didn’t really care. 

Dean seemed to settle into the thought. He didn’t laugh at him anymore at least. “I’m glad that it is home for you.”

“It’s the only home I have left.” Cas stared ahead at the road and the sign dictating how many miles they had left before they would reach the airport. 

Dean’s hand found his for a moment and gave it a little squeeze before he released it. “Hope you know that you’ll always have a home. I’ll always make sure of it.”

Cas wasn’t sure what to make of this. He let the words travel onwards to explanations that Dean would never make. He finally settled on a question that seemed to have been plucked out of thin air, but it had really come from one of the paths of explanation that he had considered. “One day when you are done with the hunting life, when you find something worth setting it all aside for, will you move out of the bunker?”

Dean gripped the steering wheel. A full minute passed and he ran one hand up through his hair. His hair was catching the light from outside in a way that made him seem to glow a bit. “If I ever leave the bunker, I would assume that you would leave with me.” He sent a quick glance Cas’ way then focused more on the road. “I don’t ever plan to leave the bunker. Of course if you ever want to move out or you find something that you want to set it all aside for, you should. I’d be happy for you.”

“I have no intention of seeking out an alternative to what I have. I have everything that I need in the bunker.” Cas gave him a pointed stare and wondered if Dean understood. Dean swallowed audibly. Cas thought that he maybe understood. He had told Hannah once that feelings and emotions were dangerous things, distractions from the mission. Yet here he was feeling much more than he was saying. It had always been this way with Dean, and it likely would be this way ever more. “I’ll miss you.” He wondered if he had made a mistake the moment that he had said it, but it was too late to undo the damage.

They pulled into the drop off area of the airport, but Dean did not stop. Cas watched the signage for his airlines fall into their wake as Dean drove around. He turned into an entryway with a little device that spewed out tickets. Dean pushed the button and navigated his way through the lot to an empty stall. He shut off the car and said, “Come on.”

“You could have dropped me off at the curb.” Dean got out though and rounded the car to his door. He opened it. Cas still sat there. He looked up at Dean. “Dean?”

“I’m walking you in okay. Now, come on. You don’t want to miss your flight.” Dean stepped back and waved his hand out to encourage Cas to his side.

Cas got out and waited for Dean to shut the door. “You said that parking here was expensive.”

“It is. What’s your point?”

“You could have dropped me off at the curb.” He felt ridiculous saying it again.

“I want to walk you in. I’m not dumping you off on the curb.” Dean sounded angry, but what he was saying didn’t match his tone. He started to walk off to the terminal. Cas quickened his steps to catch him. 

“It would have been fine,” Cas said.

“No, it wouldn’t have, not for me anyway.” The doors opened in front of them and they passed into the wide open space. Dean pointed off toward the check-in counter and then to the T.S.A. section. “First we go to the counter to get your boarding pass. Then we’ll go through the T.S.A. stuff.”

“I’ll go through the T.S.A. stuff,” Cas clarified.

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” Dean’s hand was back on his elbow directing his path. He navigated Cas to the counter instead of the self-serve kiosks. He let Cas handle the ticket himself while he stood off to the side fidgeting. When he finished, Dean stepped up to the counter. “I’d like your cheapest ticket to anywhere.”

“What are you doing?” Cas cocked his head to the side and stared past a squint.

“Got a ticket to Chicago for $183. It is the same flight that he is on before he switches planes.” The woman was all smiles and spoke with a mid-western twang that would linger on even after her words were spoken.

“I’ll take it.” Dean pulled out one of the credit cards and set it on the counter along with his ID.

While she was taking care of Dean’s purchase, Cas leaned in close to ask yet again, “What are you doing?” 

Dean didn’t answer. Cas looked at the woman as she slid the boarding pass, credit card and ID back to Dean with a smile. She turned to Cas and said, “You’re real lucky to have a husband like him. Mine would likely just push me out of a moving vehicle at the curb. Not every day that one comes along that will buy a ticket just to walk you all the way to the gate.”

Dean scooped up the items off of the counter and said a hasty, “Thanks,” as they bustled past a large family in the queue. 

“You didn’t correct her,” Cas noted aloud.

“What are you muttering about?” Dean directed Cas to the line for the security screening. They stood together, moving forward by inches every couple of seconds.

“I was hardly muttering. I said that you didn’t correct her.”

“About what?” Dean was holding all of his boarding pass paperwork, and his ID. He was still fidgeting and Cas was still confused.

“She called you my husband. She said you bought the ticket to walk me to my gate. Sam is waiting for you.” Cas didn’t know why he added that last bit, but he just couldn’t figure out why Dean was acting so strangely.  _Did he think that this was too much?_  Cas wondered if it was a trust thing too.  _Was it possible that Dean felt that this flying thing was too human for someone like him?_   _There had to be some reason he was doing this._

“Didn’t see the point in telling her my whole life story. Besides, she likely assumed because we have the same last names. Seemed easier to let her believe that you are my husband.” Dean shuffled forward a step. The line was long.

“Why did you buy the ticket?” Cas was right at his side. The bag with Dean’s clothes slung over his left shoulder. His right shoulder was rubbing against Dean with each step they took forward.

“I wanted to walk you to your gate.” Dean’s answer was a little quiet, but also said in a way that just begged to be accepted and left behind.

“Why?” Cas decided to ignore Dean’s silent wish, the prayer that he would just not question it.

Dean didn’t answer him. They got to the T.S.A agent and handed off their boarding passes and IDs. He waved them through with an economy of words. Dean helped Cas put his items in the bins. Cas took off his coat and belt, laying them in the bin as he did so. Their bins were moved down the row to the x-ray. They each went through the metal detector and came out on the other side to collect their things. Dean still hadn’t answered. 

After getting situated and putting his coat back on, Cas felt a hand on his arm again. Dean was directing him to his gate. They walked past families and small gift shops selling duty-free items. “Do you need anything before you get on the plane, like headphones or something?”

“No. Sam packed some headphones for me already.” Dean steered him to the last gate and they moved to the window to watch the planes fly in. Cas wondered aloud, “Are you going to fly to Chicago with me too?”

“I better not. Sam might feel stood up.” Dean laughed halfheartedly as if he had been considering it, but had silently talked himself out of it just then.

“You never answered me before.”

Dean stretched out in the seat, his feet resting along the bottom of the window sill. He pushed his palms to the armrests of his seat and propelled himself up. He moved to the window and stared out at the tarmac and all of the grey underneath the bright blue sky. Cas came to his side and settled a hand on his back sensing that he maybe needed a little comfort, but for what he hadn’t discerned. 

“I’ll miss you too.” Dean didn’t say it to him, but instead to the reflection of Cas in the glass. 

“It won’t be long. It seems like with each season that passes, we get separated from each other for ridiculous amounts of time. Somehow though, we always manage to find our ways back.” Dean turned to him then and looked rather sad despite the comfort that Cas thought he had been offering.

“Call or text me everyday. Not Sam, me. I mean, you can call Sam too, but I want you to call me, okay.” Dean leaned the side of his head against the glass as the flight attendant at the counter announced the boarding numbers that would go first. Cas was in boarding group three. They had time.

“Everyday,” Cas promised.

“I mean if you can. I won’t freak out if you don’t.” Dean spoke in a fast string of words.

Cas stopped him with a hand brought up to his neck, a thumb that brushed back the rest of what he might have said. “Everyday, Dean. Don’t worry.”

They stayed like that through the second boarding group, Cas just rubbing away the strain of the moment with his thumb on Dean’s cheek. Group three was called and a few more people moved into the short line to board. Cas started to move too. Dean stopped him. “You don’t have to go yet.” He settled a hand on Cas’ hip and stared at him like he was trying to memorize something important.

“I have to go. I’ll be home soon though.” The last of his group was moving into the tunnel that lead to the plane. He really did have to go. He reached up and settled a kiss on Dean’s cheek. The stubble leaving him with another memory of home and what would be waiting for him. “I’ll miss you.” He thought that it bore repeating.

Dean let him go, his arms hanging sadly at his sides. Cas made his way to the line, gave over his boarding pass for the scanning, and looked back once more at Dean. He gave Dean a little wave as he stepped into the tunnel to the plane. Dean reached up to his cheek, where Cas’ lips had just been, and he smiled like he was still feeling it, like he knew that he would feel it again when Cas finally came back home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this. If you get bored, you can find me on Tumblr as [Spearywritesstuff](http://spearywritesstuff.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Drop me a comment or a kudos if you liked this. Thanks a bunch.
> 
> There's a sequel to this, called [Sent and Received](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5274635).


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